A butterfly flapping it's wings in South America can effect the weather in Central Park

Image from Trey Ratliff - stuckincustoms.com

We received a great update today regarding Xiao! Apparently one of the larger adoption agencies who works a ton with China has a family matched with Xiao. We received a call today from our agency with the news.

It was presented to us as a "not so good" update. We however are totally stoked! Our intent was to advocate on this little boys behalf, share his story with others, bring awareness to HIV+ babies in China, and get people praying for him. Us becoming the forever family for him was really way down on the list. So as I look over the reasons why we blogged about him and shared his story, I can say, check, check, check, praise God! 

I think we often feel like if we aren't the ones to resolve an issue or step up and simply just do it ourselves it won't get done. I think this discounts what God is doing with his flock and our role within His larger community. I have no way of knowing if anything we did had anything to do with Xiao getting matched with a family, but that doesn't hamper my enthusiasm for what God is doing and what the power of prayer may have done from those who read about him and simply included him in their prayer time. 

I often think of this in term's of Edward Lorenz's butterfly theory which is always covered in chaos theory:

A butterfly flapping it's wings in South America can effect the weather in Central Park

 As a part of God's larger community, it's not a stretch for me to apply this notion from chaos theory to my spiritual walk. My small prayer in Alabama can effect the trajectory of a little boy in China in need of a loving forever home. Now that's something I can get excited about!

Living on the edge

With the girls out of town and some moderate temperatures, it was a good day for the boys to get out and explore. We ended up at Ruffner Mountain checking out a few of the trails. It ended up having some terrain I was a bit nervous with as can be seen with D hanging his legs over, and yes it was straight down from there! F kept crawling on his knees to stick his head over and look. I couldn't hang out at this spot too long needles to say.

It was good getting them out to get dirty, throw rocks and sticks, pee in the woods, and generally let their inner caveman out for a while. You should check out the slide show and see how primitive they got.

We topped it off with burgers and shakes and I think I saw one of them loosen their pants and collapse in front of the TV. The girls are still gone so the inner cavemen can hang around a little longer I suppose.

Can Doing God's Work Screw up your Kids?

I can honestly say this is probably not something most Christians ever even wonder. I think most people I know would say of course not, how could that be possible? I bet if you ask a missionary though, you'd get a response like, "Well.............." If they were being honest anyway. Very few of us are ever put in a position of even thinking about this. We are never pushed to think perhaps there is even a chance of us doing something that might not be in the best interest of our children or even thinking God would ask us to do this.

This had been weighing on my mind a bit lately (more as to why in a bit) when I received an update from a missionary family our church supports. Within it was the following:

It was one of the harder letters I’d ever written. The gist of it was this: “Boarding isn’t working for your child, despite all the support you and we are offering.  You need to make a change.”

Let me clarify what a “change” implies: For a bush missionary whose child doesn’t “make it” at boarding school, almost everything about life must change. It may mean bringing that child back to the bush/village and homeschooling them, which may require one parent giving up part or all of his/her ministry. It may mean the family needs to move to a different location where the child can be a day student – giving up home, ministry, church, and friends. It may mean a return to the home country, giving up all the above as well as “Africa”. Whatever the cost, letters like mine are among those missionary parents hope never to get.

You can imagine, then, why this family’s humble and open response brought tears to my eyes. The gist of what they said was: “Thank you for sharing this. What should we do? We are praying for God’s wisdom and help in meeting our child’s needs.”

Seriously? I mean, I can't quite fathom having to wrangle with God on this. Here this family is doing what they believe God called them to do in the middle of stinking no where Africa for a people group they've been lead to, and it's wreaking havoc on their child. How could this not be screwing up their kid, and their family? Just think if they end up leaving and this kid knowing he/she is the reason their parents had to stop doing what they thought God wanted them to do. Holy smokes, that's heavy!

I had been thinking on this just a bit myself because I have been spending a decent amount of time organizing some missions opportunities for our church and I found myself telling my little boys, "no I can't play right now because I have to get this trip organized and some information out tonight!" I immediately felt bad about it, but then told myself this is what God has asked me to do right now, surely it won't hurt my kid's feelings too bad. Will it?

Please don't think I'm at all comparing my few Sunday afternoon and evenings of short term missions planning instead of tossing the football in the yard or playing the Xbox for the umpteenth time with my boys anywhere near this families struggle. It just got me thinking as both events occurred within the same week and as I dive more into short term missions, orphan/adoption advocacy, another adoption, and other generally "Godly" endeavors on top of my regular work a day life.

I don't have any answers other than God has my family and this missionary family in His hands and His grace is so overflowing that it will be ok, I hope, it will, right? So how does one balance God's callings and kids?

Why I celebrate Christmas

We were singing this Sunday during the observance of communion and couldn't help but think of Christmas.

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that he should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure! How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away as wounds which mar the chosen One bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders. Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished. His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything; no gifts, no power, no wisdom, but I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection. Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer, but this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom.

This is why I celebrate Christmas, to recognize and celebrate the coming of the one that paid it all for me yet passed His reward onto me.

Why do you celebrate Christmas?

Christmas Card Photo

When we first had B 16 years ago, it just sort of felt like fun to send out a Christmas card showing of our new bundle of joy. As this year's pic can attest, it just becomes an attempt to tame the chaos just long enough to get something in focus. Melissa's dad wanted family pics made when we were in Tulsa this summer, which included her sister and her kids too. There was no way we were going to attempt to even try and accomplish this again for Christmas cards so we found something from that batch. And when you look at this picture that we actually chose from the pile, you have to ask, what did the others look like if this is the one you picked?! At least in this one, we are all looking at the camera. None the less, the kids look great and are excited for Christmas. As you could probably ascertain from the photo, Melissa and I are just hanging on, in a good way though.

Tis the season!

He's party rockin fine, thank you

It's been 18 months since F joined our family from China. Having come to our family as a 3 year old, it's logical to wonder how a child of that age will adapt to a new family, new language, new culture, etc... We quite often get the question, "how has F adjusted?" Well let's see...

For better or worse, I'd say he's doing just fine, thank you for asking.

Gas and go pit stops

On Friday morning we set out on what for sure has to be our most round about (i wanted to put circuitous here but Melissa says I shouldn't use big words like that too often) trip to Tulsa ever. As you can see from the map we had to first go nearly in the opposite direction to pick up D from camp before progressing toward the great plains. All was well until about 45 minutes from arriving at camp shortly after we exited the interstate and headed into the Smoky Mtns. Our van began lurching and not accelerating at all in low gears before it would "catch" and began to accelerate like a mini-van with a complex. As long as we were traveling along at a reasonable speed and didn't have to stop or seriously slow and go, it would limp along, begrudgingly. Upon hitting the windy 2 lane road snaking into the mountains, I thought I was going to have to go all Fred Flintstone to get there. We were lurching, sputtering, spitting, accelerating all over the mountain road. The only solace was it didn't look much different than all of the grammies and papas attempting to drive the same mountain roads and decide if they should stop yet again at another fudge store.

We limped into camp and hoped the short rest would do the van some good, but alas while attempting to leave and accelerate up a hill at a stop sign, we died. At least we had a view and an ice cream shop to enjoy. While the rest of the family enjoyed some fresh mountain ice cream, I began looking for the nearest Honda dealership I could find. Fortunately there was indeed one about 30 miles away in the direction we needed to be heading. We had to get there before they closed, it was going to be close. I'm sure the guys at the service center let out a big groan as we rolled into their service bay about 10 minutes before closing time. And of course, what happens anytime you attempt to take a car to the shop to diagnose a "mysterious" problem? Nothing! The 30 mile drive to the dealer was flawless, no lurching, no lunging, no sudden decelerations! So of course they couldn't find anything wrong. Great!

I will say they graciously tested, retested, drove around in it, etc... well after closing time in attempts to help us. Maybe it was the fact that kids kept pouring out of the van while I was desperately explaining the issue and that we were over 5 hours from home and 10 hours from our cross country destination. They surely felt sorry for us. None the less, despite their best efforts to reproduce the issue, none could be found. So off we went to dinner and then off toward Oklahoma. We had no further issues that evening. We headed out yesterday morning after staying somewhere in TN and drove most of the day yesterday without incident, before...

This was by far not as nice a spot for the van (which we have now named Lurch) to decide it was done for a while. So we grabbed some snacks, sat in the shade at a gas station for a while, topped off the tank and finally rolled on. We did this off and on for the last several hours until we finally got into Tulsa last night. For whatever reason, pulling over, topping off the gas tank and waiting about 5 minutes settled Lurch down for a while. It was like watching the later stages of a NASCAR race with splash and go pit stops, gas only, gas only! Don't you think we need 2 right side tires? No, just splash and go, go, go! We will be here until Thursday and will have to make some decisions about Lurch before schlepping back to Alabama. Of course everyone is voting for leave it, leave it! This is coming from everyone without a job, no financial planning time on their resume, and no responsibility other than to shower themselves occasionally and help do some chores, so we'll see what happens this week.

I AM Kungfu Panda, No I AM Kungfu Panda

One of our boy's favorite movies is Kungfu Panda. Until recently I had never actually seen the movie, but I had "heard" it dozens of times probably. It's one of the kids mainstay travel movies to play in the minivan. Because the wireless headphones are so stinking expensive we've never forked out the $$$ for more than the standard 2 that came with the van. The incessant bickering over tangling over the other "wired" headsets coupled with keeping up with the splitter for 2 or 3 more headsets has just about insured Melissa and I are destined to listen to every movie the kids watch on any road trip any more. We finally just figured it was easier to turn the sound to the back speakers and either talk to each other or sleep. All that being said, for years I had listened to Kungfu Panda many times over. It quickly became one of F's favorite movies once he figured out the entire movie took place in "his" China. As the sequel approached I figured it would be worth my while to actually watch the original. In true "guy" format, E and F just about recited the entire stinking movie line by line! I could hardly watch the movie with the boys sitting on either side of me giving me the play by play like it was the final game of the world series.

So it's no surprise we went to see Kungfu Panda 2 over the long weekend. E woke up Thursday morning letting me know it was opening day and we could go after I got home from work. It was like the always anticipated opening day of Major League baseball to usher in Spring! It was a great movie to say the least, probably as good or better than the first. It was always odd to me in the first movie that there was absolutely no explanation of a panda having a duck as a dad. This awkward and perplexing relationship turned out to be at the crux of the sequel. Po explores his adoption and seeks knowledge regarding his birth parents and his childhood. So the boys are now exclaiming, "hey, I'm just like Po, he's adopted like me!"

At one point in the movie Po tells one of the other characters, almost ashamedly that he has discovered his dad (the duck) isn't his real dad. The other character says, oh you mean the "duck" isn't your "real" dad, as if if to say duh, no secret there. While adoption seems to be more prevalent, we still get amused when people ask us this question, does E and F know they are adopted? I always want to say, you mean does the Guatemalan and Chinaman know that their caucasian blue eyed mom, dad, and three other brothers and sisters are vastly different from them, with a slight smirk? This has never been any secret and is a topic that comes up often regarding where everyone was born where they are from, how God brought us together as a family, etc... F who is 4 will sometimes simply say, I had a China mommy and daddy and now I have a new mommy and daddy with the biggest grin on his face, as if it to say, how cool that I have had more than 1 mommy and daddy, how many have you had? I win! (everything is a competition to him)

Anyway, Po discovers the story of his mommy and daddy and how he came to be orphaned. It was a great story and I believe one that will be like many adopted children's stories, minus the maniacal peacock who uses wolves as henchmen in attempts to kill all of the pandas. While E and F bring this up from time to time, it's like a different conversation each time as their maturity and comprehension gets greater with age. The story told in KP2 is one we can use to explain to our boys how they came to be a part of our family and it appears the writers received good input in addressing this topic.

In the end, the duck dad welcomes Po back from saving China with trepidation. Po says he figured something out in the midst of his adventure and with much worry in his eyes, the duck dad hears the following: "I figured out that YOU are my dad!" As an adoptive dad, I'd have to say that was a touching ending to a great kids movie.

While leaving the movie, E and F began arguing about who was like Po more. F finally trumped E by pointing out that while they are both adopted like Po, that he in fact is from China, just like Po. I think I heard E exclaim, ah man, I wish I was from China too. And then E's creative juices kicked in and said to F, hey there was a KP1 and a KP2, so we can both be like Po, I'll be like Po in KP1 and you can be like Po in KFP2! As long as they both continue to openly discuss their situation and that I am indeed their dad, they can both be like Po for as long as they so choose. Thanks Disney for a great family movie and one that includes such a positive adoption story.

Tooth Fairy or Tooth Rat?

It's not his first, but seems to be the most memorable so far; E lost one of his front teeth a few days ago. Given that he is such a tender and weepy boy, it's no less than a miracle in and of itself we got it out.

A little back story... Melissa and I have to be the worst tooth fairy parents on the planet! I can't tell you how many times now going onto child number 4 we've had to pull out the "i'm sure the tooth fairy was just super busy tonight and will surely come tonight"... I'm sure you are on the list or the database given it's 2011, right? All the while feeling like such slouches for not thinking to run out to the ATM or scrounge around for some change in the cushions or something, sheesh!

The good news is the first 3 love their tender hearted little E so much, they can't stand to see him sad or heart broken. So now we have 2 momma birds and a daddy bird nagging at me and Melissa, DON"T FORGET the tooth fairy! Well D had a stroke of genius in the midst of reminding us and he said, hey you should give E some Guatemalan money from the tooth fairy. While we NEVER seem to have dollar bills or enough change to equal $1 (for those of you driving up tooth inflation cost by giving $5, $10, or even presents, please stop it! You are killing those of us with more than 1 kid and your economic model for valuing a tooth is stupid crazy) but we do have a bunch of Quetzales. And besides, it's about Q7.50 per dollar right now, so we are coming out pretty good on this exchange rate for 1 Guat tooth.

E was pretty excited he got something the next morning and when he figured out it was Guat money, he couldn't believe it. He said, "Daddy, the tooth fairy knew I was born in Guatemala!" He had the biggest, toothy grin knowing the tooth fairy knew this about him.

Turns out though, they don't have a tooth fairy in Guatemala, they have a tooth rat! Seriously, a rat? Now my friend in Guatemala says it's a mouse, but they still call him Ratoncito, which according to Google translate is still a rat! I have a little time to figure out what crazy creature will show up at our house when F begins to lose teeth, but I'll be seriously disappointed if it's not seem really cool dragon creature.

What fun cultural traditions do you attempt to bring into your family?

$450 a night? How about $175?

Having had the opportunity to travel to China, Guatemala, and Honduras in the past year, one thing i've learned is almost everything is up for negotiation. There's the regular price, there's the gringo price, there's the we know you're not from here price, etc... So unless it's at a world wide chain at a mall, you should always ask if there is room for negotiation if you feel there might be.

For those of you that follow along, we found a good deal at Thanksgiving at the beach, well we certainly out did that this past week. It was spring break for the entire state of Alabama so we hadn't even thought of going to the beach again, certain the crowds and prices would be at the max.  On Monday we decided to see if we could find any places still empty and we scored a major deal! We ended up at a single family home right on the beach in Blue Mtn. Beach along our favorite stretch of the panhandle for less than we could stay in a hotel with our clan of 7.  This was the throwback beach vacation you always picture, house right on the beach, covered porch, yard to play in dumping down onto beach, big windows open 24x7 with gulf breeze blowing in, etc... We were very blessed to have found such an affordable opportunity. We had originally thought about kicking around Atlanta for a few days which would have cost significantly more, so this was a huge savings for us.

We certainly had our normal ups and downs; i was sick, the cable was out (no march madness!), everyone wanted to do something different all the time, both boys went on a stretch of apparent potty amnesia, mommy daughter spats (after all we're not all 7 this close together for this many days in a row very often anymore), yet overall we probably had our best beach trip ever. It reminds me a bit of how an entire day can be really good except 1 minor detail and we let that 1 detail dictate the mood of the day. Well every single detail of this trip was not perfect, but overall it was an amazing 4 days!

Just like our daily walk with God, every detail isn't fun or perfect, but the whole experience when said and done is going to be fan-freakin-tastic!!